Now, you know I’m not going to put the entire critique comments on here. That would take too long and too much space. I’m going to comment on the highlights and possibly some lowlights. This will get long. Either bear with me or skip, whichever. *s*
First, on the piece I got 2nd Honorable Mention:
Put your plot, your character’s problem up front.
This will take only a little rearranging to do. I think it will actually be better when it’s done.
You have a knack for the fantasy genre.
Thank you. It is my first love, after all. Well, after poetry. When I started writing, I started with poems. Then I moved on to fantasy. Now I’m working on historical romance with some paranormal elements, which could be deemed fantasy depending on your perspective.
Perhaps someone can answer a question for me. How have you seen telepathic communication indicated? I’ve only ever seen it in italics with colons at the beginning and end instead of in regular print with quotes. Anyone else?
On a poem:
Nothing too original here, but it works together and feels rushed.
Thank you to the feeling rushed part. That was most definitely the intent. As far as nothing too original… It was the first pantoum I had ever written. I wanted something that wouldn’t be too terribly difficult to work with for the first attempt. Perhaps that shows a bit too much.
Another poem, this one quite long (the poem, not the crit):
Poem could be broadened into quite a story.
Thank you! What is amusing about this is it is actually the prologue to a novel that has been started but stalled. I plan to dig it out and dust it off after Kiernan and Devon are finished with me.
Now an essay:
More sources than dictionary would strengthen and enliven the essay.
That’s something to think about. I wasn’t sure, for a personal opinion piece, if that would actually apply or not so I opted for the safe route and should probably have looked for additional sources anyway.
In the text of the essay itself, I apparently have several cliches. I admit, it had been a long time since I’d really looked at this before entering it. I decided to send it in at the last minute so I didn’t look it over as carefully as I should have before sending it.
Aha. Short-short story:
Not a topic everyone would write about but probably everyone has at least thought about.
Unfortunately, there isn’t really anything I can use here. The only other comment about this was:
Brave writing. You have talent.
Thank you.
I only scored 61 points out of 100 on this, so I know there’s something remiss here. At least there are different areas (by the organization, not the judge) defined on the scoring sheet to which numerical values were assigned. I guess the best way to start working on this would be to take the lowest scoring area(s) and strengthen that and go from there.
Also, there is the possiblity that it might have been too short even for the short-short? I might not have fully completed the story. (This occurred to me just now as I was sitting here re-reading it.)
Another poem:
I like the last line – very effective, poignant.
To me, that means I achieved the goal I wanted with this poem. It’s very short, only five lines. The judge did say, however, that emotion
…could have been developed more fully 0 to give added punch to conclusion.
I’m not certain how to do that without making this longer. Making it longer would lessen the impact I was going for.
The first of a couple novel submissions (this one mainstream):
…likeable characters, which is a plus in this much-used plot-line.
That is something I realized — the “much-used plotline” — as I was working on it. I read a book prety much exactly the same as what I was working toward so I abandoned it. I might pick it up sometime later and rework it, though.
The chapters moved quickly and maintained my interest — nice job.
Wow! Thank you. 
The synopsis needs more focus and some cleaning up. Be sure to make the central conflict clear early in a synopsis….
I honestly hate writing synopses. Especially for incomplete books, which this one is. I was honestly looking for an indicator on if I should ditch it or finish it. On that note:
Finish the book — and best luck!
I think there’s my indicator. *s*
On one last comment on that one, the judge loved my title. No, I’m not going to tell you what it is.
The second novel submission (this one fantasy):
Give some more hints about the setting so we get a sense of the world we’re in.
OK. This is something I was unsure about so this is good to know. I didn’t know if I had done enough or not.
Make the dialgue feel natural.
At first I didn’t understand this and then I re-read parts of the submitted pages. Oh my gosh! Some is completely stilted. Some is OK. Some is … well … bad. lol.
When I got this one back, I saw the mess of formatting that had somehow happened. I cringed! I’m honestly surprised the judge read it. If I had been in their position, I’m not sure I would have.
A non-fiction book:
I really like the basic concept of this book, but it’s important to distinguish it from similar books on the market.
Thank you. I haven’t yet done the market research and that most likely showed.
Based on your sample chapters, you actually have very little to offer.
At first, I thought “Ouch!” The judge is right, though, insofar as the submission entered. I finally figured out how to further develop the chapters, so that shouldn’t be as much of a problem now that I’ve got that worked out.
Books are supposed to cover topics in far more depth than magazine articles, but you have covered them in far less depth. You have a lot more research and writing to do on the chapters.
This really goes along with what I said about the last comment. The judge also doesn’t like my title.
This is on a series of three columns:
Subject matter is fresh.
This tells me I have something goin here that bears continuing.
Overlying theme is not consistent.
I think it might appear more consistent if I could have submitted more than just three sample columns. Or perhaps I need to combine them to be longer?
Goal is not clear.
Again, I think it would have been clearer if I could have submitted more than what was permitted in the guidelines. Since I’ve actually worked recently and quite a bit on these columns, I’m not sure how to make it clearer in just that short a space.
The last one is a confession story.
The judge for this one actually did some line edits! Wow! Thank you very much for that. I know it took a lot of time, especially with as many entries as there were.
There’s one part where she asks what, if anything, it has to do with the story. If I’m honest, I have to say it doesn’t. I liked it so I left it even though I subconsciously knew it should be taken out.
Your margins are too big.
At first, I thought, “huh?” Then I opened the file and looked at the page settings. The margins are 1.5″ instead of just 1″. I think that’s probably what she meant.
This is not a confession story. Review the genre and try again next year.
This time, I really do have a “huh?” From what I have reviewed and from what crit partners have indicated, I thought it was a confession story. Oh well.
One thing I do know: Judging is subjective. Overall, I got good feedback, though.
